More grave matters….

Here is the new cover of the paperback edition of Finding the Plot: 100 Graves to Visit Before You Die. It’s coming out in the spring. I toyed with the idea of replacing one or two of my graves but every time I thought of removing one, I remembered why I included it in the first place. If anything, eventually, I think I will have to go for a sequel, doing ANOTHER 100 graves to visit before you die! But, first, for the paperback, I am going to Leicester to see how Richard III is doing. He’s my only body that has moved since the hardback was published in 2013…

FTP-PAPERBACK

Fun Times at Hatchards in Piccadilly

The great Times cartoonist Peter Brookes starts work on David Cameron’s “very small” mouth as Patrick Kidd and I look on during an event at Hatchards book shop in Picaddilly last night. What a wonderful place it is, London’s oldest bookshop, full of books of every shape and kind, including, of course, Peter’s lastest, called Testing Times, and my look back over the coalition years, All In This Together. Patrick Kidd, by the way, is the new Times sketchwriter and it was great fun to be “interviewed” by him about sketches, both written and drawn. Photo: Ian BerkoffHatchards

Grave matters for the Best Clown in the World

Joseph Grimaldi, 1778 – 1837…

It’s Halloween and so only right to feature a grave matter from my book Finding the Plot: 100 Graves to Visit Before You Die. This is the grave of Joseph Grimaldi, the great clown of the 19th century and indeed the man who invented clowns as we know them: white of face, red of mouth, slapstick of manner. His life was utterly fantastical, born near London’s West End in 1778, to parents who were performers and on stage by age four. He became a surreally brilliant, creative and anarchic performer and I have no doubt that, if he were alive today, he would still be the very best, known throughout the world. His father was a violent brute, nicknamed Grim-All-Day and lived in such fear of being buried alive that it was stipulated in his will that, after he his death, he must be beheaded (and he was). His son died aged 43, his body worn out from his amazing and punishing stage performances. His grave, below, with its happy and sad masks, is now the centrepiece of a small urban park, near King’s Cross in London. At the entrance is another memorial, two coffin-shaped forms on the ground which are made up of tiles and when you walk on them, or even dance, they play a tune called “Hot Codlins”, which was one of Joey’s hit numbers. So here you really can dance on his grave which is, surely, just the kind of thing you would do at Halloween.Grimaldi

Grim-coffins

Final words for GE2015 Dictionary

The thing about GE2015 is that, in retrospect, it was all a bit of a fantasy. But we didn’t know that until, at 10.03pm on election night, the “exit poll” came in, waking us all from a dream in which the polls were “neck and neck” and there would be a “hung parliament” probably involving something called “confidence and supply”. For us it was only a dream but for Labour, the Lib-Dems and UKIP it was a nightmare come true. (The end result was was an overall majority for the Tories of 331 with 232 for Labour, 57 for the SNPs and a paltry 8 for the Lib-Dems with both the Greens and UKIP getting one MP.)

Still if anyone is ever feeling nostalgic for GE2015, my dictionary is the place to wallow. Here, you can remember all those highlights of Ed Stones and Pumped Up Daves. Below are my “new words” and, below that, the dictionary.  What words will last? In a year will anyone remember Milifandom? Doesn’t it already sound just sooo dated? I shall be pondering that before posting my final final dictionary next week….

 

New Words for my GE2105 Dictionary 

 

Ed Stone: Or ‘Edstone. The 8 ft 6 limestone monument carved with Labour’s six pledges unveiled the weekend before the election. Ed promised to install in Downing Street if he were to win. Instantly mocked as Ed attempting to be Moses (though, of course, Moses did it with so much more style). The worst idea of the entire campaign. Now thought to be in a graveyard for gravestones (i.e. a warehouse in South London).

Exit poll: The only even reasonably accurate poll, as it turned out, released at 10.03pm on election night which showed the Tories ahead with 316 seats and Labour with 239. Labour refused to believe it but soon, as the results rolled in, pointing towards an absolute majority (they ended up with 331)  they wished it was true.

Hero: At one point they were the pollsters (see ‘zero’) but others included: the audience at the BBC Question Time who hammered everyone, Lynton (see ‘Lynton’) and, of course, the voters who fooled everyone.

Lynton: The Tories’ Australian election strategy guru, blamed for relentlessly negative tone and, indeed, almost everything that was wrong with democracy UNTIL voting had ended (see ‘Exit Poll’) and it was realised that he was a genius who had won the Tories a majority. His reward? He has now entered the pantheon of those who, in politics, need no last name.

MiliBrand – The name given to Ed Miliband’s interview with tousled haired bad boy Russell Brand (Twitter following nine million) on Russell’s Trews TV (amalgamation of  True News) in his Shoreditch loft kitchen, candles flickering in background, making it look like a tragically bad date night. Russell, who previously had told people not to vote, subsequently endorsed Ed but, crucially, after it was too late to register to vote.

Neck and Neck: What the polls were for most of the campaign until the very last (see ‘exit poll’) when everyone realised that no one needed to call an osteopath after all.

Pollsters: The people we all believed in, who showed that the Tories and Labour were almost even (see “neck and neck) throughout most of the campaign, prompting all sorts of strategies from candidates such as the Ed Stone and Pumped Up Dave. The absolute stars of this campaign until we realised, on election night, that they had been simply wrong. They went from hero to zero.

Pumped up Dave: Bizarre final week manifestation of the Prime Minister, unveilled as the polls continued to be close (see ‘neck and neck’) in which he threw off his jacket, rolled up his shirtsleeves (a little too perfectly) and shouted that he was: “Pumped up like Arnie”. At “pumped up” events there were no chairs and no microphones, so he had to shout. Sometimes he dropped in quasi-swear words such as “bloody” and “arsed”. Everyone was hugely relieved when, after he won, Pumped Up Dave instantly disappeared.

Zero: See ‘Pollsters’.

 

Ann Treneman’s GE2015 Dictionary

Actual Voters – Desperate attempt by politicians and headline writers to separate between voters and everyone else (i.e. “ordinary people”, hard-working families and, of course, all time fave: “real people”.)

Backstabbing: Something you do when you take on a sibling in any endeavour at all and, which, psychologically, means that you are unstable and likely to be hung for treason. Defiintion courtesy of Defence Secretary Michael Fallon. (Ignore all previous definitions.)

Big beasts: Refers to has-beens who once actually were something (i.e. Prime Ministers). Specifically Sir John Major and Gordon Brown. At times, Paddy Ashdown too. Confusingly, “big beasts” are often “wheeled out”, inferring infirmity.

 

Brain freeze: Random stun device that  infected Green leader Natalie Bennett on the radio and made it seem as if she didn’t know her own housing policy (no one really blamed her)

Coalition government:  A formal arrangement between political parties, now sadly dated and sooooo 2010. Will not happen again in our lifetime as seen as electoral death. (See confidence and supply and vote by vote)

Confidence and supply: Fancy name for two parties who decide it suits them to vote together most of the time without actually being in coalition. A bit like when people are dating steadily but refuse to commit.

Cost of Living crisis: What real people call going shopping and paying the bills

Debate: Means nothing more now than a place where politicians gather on TV.

Decapitation: A strategy to behead, politically, a candidate. (Not to be confused with guillotine, that was the French). Something Lib-Dems seem particularly prone to.

Doorstep:  A location of misery for marginal constituency dwellers

Empty chair: Verb. What everyone threated to do to David Cameron as in: “They may empty-chair him”. (Candidate for ugliest verb in the world)

First past the post: Our voting system, blamed for almost everything.

Green Surge: It may sound like a snot-filled horror movie or, indeed, a stain remover but instead it denotes the rush to join the Green party (See SNP Surge)

Grand National: Animal cruelty in action which will be tackled by the Green Party as part of the great progressive future

Hard-working families: Confusingly this includes all voters, even the lazy and feckless ones

Kippers: Members of UKIP or the United Kingdom Independence Party (no longer, apparently, to be confused with “fruitcakes”).

Kitchen tables: Where politicians think we all sit when we talk politics (not to be confused with ‘kitchens’)

Kitchens: Where politicians chop vegetables and drink tea with broadcast journalists (not to be confused with “Snack preparation areas”).

La Sturgeon: Unusually nothing to do with kitchens. It’s SNP leader Nicola, not to be confused with former SNP leader Salmond. (It’s a piscatorial election in Scotland.)

Liberal-Democrats: The junior partners in the coalition government (RIP 2010-2015) who are paying the price by losing shedloads of votes. They may soon be “niche” and not in a good way.

Long-term economic plan: The Tories’ copyrighted slogan for their economic policy

Majority government: A party or parties with a working (as opposed to feckless) majority (i.e. 326 MPs).

Marginal: A constituency with fickle voters who keep changing their minds, mostly located in  the Midlands, London and the South-West OR anywhere in Scotland. Hard to find an actual definition but less than a 10 per cent swing is fine for me (See “swing”).

Milifandom – Bizarre adoration by “young people” (see “young people”) of Ed Miliband, involving selfies, whistles, catcalls and tweets. Possibly a result of lack of shirts on Poldark or, just, spring.(See Twitter Storm.)

 

Minority government: Chaos

Ordinary people: One of the terms that politicians use (enviously) to describe all of the rest of us. (Do they not realise that we are extraordinary?)

People at home: Favourite idea of politicians that “people at home” are listening or watching, as in: “People listening at home will be shocked…” or “People at home watching will be appalled….” No, we aren’t: we’re making a cup of tea.

Peradventure – “Let’s be clear beyond peradventure” said Harriet Harman on the Andrew Marr show on 12.04.2015. Are we in a Jane Austen novel? Oh I do hope so. Actually surely Peradventure is the perfect name for a Jane Austen theme park.

Pink: The colour of the Labour’s Woman To Woman bus that is going round the country  (not to be confused with “magenta”). Was accused of looking  like an advert for thrush products

Psephologists –  political science by numbers or, more commonly, pollsters.

Real people: How politicians refer to us as in: “Real people will not think it wise to use the word ‘peradventure’….

Reem: Word introduced to campaign by Joey Essex, reality TV star making a reality TV programme about himself and the reality TV election. Everyone he met has been “reem” – basically “brilliant, good, cool, fashionable”.

Snack preparation area: A small kitchen, usually on the ground floor, specifically in Ed Miliband’s ground floor, where you never actually eat anything.

SNP Surge: Actually more of a tidal wave or tsunami which, when it hits Scotland, on May 7, will turn most of the country tartan.

Swing – nothing to do with sex, sadly, but the percentage of votes switching from one party to another in a poll

 Twitter Storm: Intermittent social media weather pattern where, suddenly, everyone (i.e. at least five people you know) start tweeting about the same phenomenon. Hashtag essential.(See Milifandom)

Ultra-marginal: Like a marginal but more so. Basically, and I’ve made this up but that doesn’t mean it’s not true, it’s a seat where the vote difference is counted in hundreds not thousands. And, if you get into tens, it’s an ultra-ultra marginal.

Verbification – The strange practice of turning perfectly good nouns into verbs. (See “empty-chair”)

Vote by Vote: Utilitarian name for two parties whom it suits to vote together most of the time but who are not committed to each other in any way. Think casual dating. Precarious. They could easily dump each other by text.

Wisdom Index: A fall-back position for pollsters where they get “ordinary people” to tell them who they think will win, as opposed to who they are going to vote for (with thanks to Professor Tim Bale of Queen Mary University….)

Women –  XX chromosome carriers who often make up their minds later than men and become a source of consternation to pollsters

Young people – What politicians call anyone from ages 15 to 30. If spotted, and you are a “young people”, be prepared for this question: “So what do you want to be when you grow up?”

 

Do you have another word candidate to be included in my Vote Dictionary 2015? If so, please email me or tweet me at @anntreneman

New words for GE2015 Dictionary: Milifandom, etc.

Samuel Johnson, eat your heart out. Here is an all-new political dictionary. What would Sam have made of Milifandom? And would he know when a kitchen is not a kitchen? And why is now backstabbing right up there with murder?

Below is my latest tranche of words for my GE2015 Dictionary and, below that, is the entre dictionary to date. It is, as is the election, a work in progress. If you think of any new words to include, email or tweet me @anntreneman

 

NEW WORDS for GE2015 Dictionary

Big beasts: Refers to has-beens who once actually were something (i.e. Prime Ministers). Specifically Sir John Major and Gordon Brown. At times, Paddy Ashdown too. Confusingly, “big beasts” are often “wheeled out”, inferring infirmity.

Confidence and supply: Fancy name for two parties who decide it suits them to vote together most of the time without actually being in coalition. A bit like when people are dating steadily but refuse to commit.

Milifandom – Bizarre adoration by “young people” (see “young people”) of Ed Miliband, involving selfies, whistles, catcalls and tweets. Possibly a result of lack of shirts on Poldark or, just, spring.(See Twitter Storm.)

Reem: Word introduced to campaign by Joey Essex, reality TV star making a reality TV programme about himself and the reality TV election. Everyone he met has been “reem” – basically “brilliant, good, cool, fashionable”.

SNP Surge: Actually more of a tidal wave or tsunami which, when it hits Scotland, on May 7, will turn most of the country tartan.

Twitter Storm: Intermittent social media weather pattern where, suddenly, everyone (i.e. at least five people you know) start tweeting about the same phenomenon. Hashtag essential.(See Milifandom)

Ultra-marginal: Like a marginal but more so. Basically, and I’ve made this up but that doesn’t mean it’s not true, it’s a seat where the vote difference is counted in hundreds not thousands. And, if you get into tens, it’s an ultra-ultra marginal.

Vote by Vote: Utilitarian name for two parties whom it suits to vote together most of the time but who are not committed to each other in any way. Think casual dating. Precarious. They could easily dump each other by text.

Young people – What politicians call anyone from ages 15 to 30. If spotted, and you are a “young people”, be prepared for this question: “So what do you want to be when you grow up?”

 

Ann Treneman’s GE2015 Dictionary

Actual Voters – Desperate attempt by politicians and headline writers to separate between voters and everyone else (i.e. “ordinary people”, hard-working families and, of course, all time fave: “real people”.)

Backstabbing: Something you do when you take on a sibling in any endeavour at all and, which, psychologically, means that you are unstable and likely to be hung for treason. Defiintion courtesy of Defence Secretary Michael Fallon. (Ignore all previous definitions.)

Brain freeze: Random stun device that  infected Green leader Natalie Bennett on the radio and made it seem as if she didn’t know her own housing policy (no one really blamed her)

Coalition government:  A formal arrangement between political parties, now sadly dated and sooooo 2010. Will not happen again in our lifetime as seen as electoral death. (See confidence and supply and vote by vote)

Cost of Living crisis: What real people call going shopping and paying the bills

Debate: Means nothing more now than a place where politicians gather on TV.

Decapitation: A strategy to behead, politically, a candidate. (Not to be confused with guillotine, that was the French). Something Lib-Dems seem particularly prone to.

Doorstep:  A location of misery for marginal constituency dwellers

Empty chair: Verb. What everyone threated to do to David Cameron as in: “They may empty-chair him”. (Candidate for ugliest verb in the world)

First past the post: Our voting system, blamed for almost everything.

Green Surge: It may sound like a snot-filled horror movie or, indeed, a stain remover but instead it denotes the rush to join the Green party (See SNP Surge)

Grand National: Animal cruelty in action which will be tackled by the Green Party as part of the great progressive future

Hard-working families: Confusingly this includes all voters, even the lazy and feckless ones

Kippers: Members of UKIP or the United Kingdom Independence Party (no longer, apparently, to be confused with “fruitcakes”).

Kitchen tables: Where politicians think we all sit when we talk politics (not to be confused with ‘kitchens’)

Kitchens: Where politicians chop vegetables and drink tea with broadcast journalists (not to be confused with “Snack preparation areas”).

La Sturgeon: Unusually nothing to do with kitchens. It’s SNP leader Nicola, not to be confused with former SNP leader Salmond. (It’s a piscatorial election in Scotland.)

Liberal-Democrats: The junior partners in the coalition government (RIP 2010-2015) who are paying the price by losing shedloads of votes. They may soon be “niche” and not in a good way.

Long-term economic plan: The Tories’ copyrighted slogan for their economic policy

Majority government: A party or parties with a working (as opposed to feckless) majority (i.e. 326 MPs).

Marginal: A constituency with fickle voters who keep changing their minds, mostly located in  the Midlands, London and the South-West OR anywhere in Scotland. Hard to find an actual definition but less than a 10 per cent swing is fine for me (See “swing”).

Minority government: Chaos

Ordinary people: One of the terms that politicians use (enviously) to describe all of the rest of us. (Do they not realise that we are extraordinary?)

People at home: Favourite idea of politicians that “people at home” are listening or watching, as in: “People listening at home will be shocked…” or “People at home watching will be appalled….” No, we aren’t: we’re making a cup of tea.

Peradventure – “Let’s be clear beyond peradventure” said Harriet Harman on the Andrew Marr show on 12.04.2015. Are we in a Jane Austen novel? Oh I do hope so. Actually surely Peradventure is the perfect name for a Jane Austen theme park.

Pink: The colour of the Labour’s Woman To Woman bus that is going round the country  (not to be confused with “magenta”). Was accused of looking  like an advert for thrush products

Psephologists –  political science by numbers or, more commonly, pollsters.

Real people: How politicians refer to us as in: “Real people will not think it wise to use the word ‘peradventure’….

Snack preparation area: A small kitchen, usually on the ground floor, specifically in Ed Miliband’s ground floor, where you never actually eat anything.

Swing – nothing to do with sex, sadly, but the percentage of votes switching from one party to another in a poll

Verbification – The strange practice of turning perfectly good nouns into verbs. (See “empty-chair”)

Wisdom Index: A fall-back position for pollsters where they get “ordinary people” to tell them who they think will win, as opposed to who they are going to vote for (with thanks to Professor Tim Bale of Queen Mary University….)

Women –  XX chromosome carriers who often make up their minds later than men and become a source of consternation to pollsters

 

Do you have another word candidate to be included in my Vote Dictionary 2015? If so, please email me or tweet me at @anntreneman

 

For more advice on how to survive the General Election, see my piece in The Times at: http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/news/politics/article4402991.ece

 

 

 

Manifesto week – Wednesday

On Wednesday I had a choice between the Lib-Dems, facing something quite close to wipe-out, and UKIP, the new disruptors who may not win many seats (three? maybe?) but are really causing havoc for the Tories in marginal seats by eating in to their vote just enough to make them lose to Labour. This was not a major choice for me. UKIP is way more fun. The launch was in deepest Essex (A13 meets the M25, truly glorious “countryside” of tarmac and pylons) to the Thurrock hotel which is right next to Thurrock Football Club. It was, well, what can I say, zany. I know that Nigel Farage keeps trying to professionalise UKIP, and insists their fruitcake days are over, but, as I said in my sketch, you can’t make a Savile Row suit out of a ragbag and not have the end product be rather rough around the edges. Actually, in some cases, very rough…

I knew I had arrived in the right place when this was next to me in the car park

I knew I had arrived in the right place when this was next to me in the car park

Toilets and the UKIP Manifesto launch can be found in the same direction.....I make no more comment

Toilets and the UKIP Manifesto launch can be found in the same direction…..I make no more comment

Meet Herbie, whose lapel badges flash "Welcome to the UKIP Manifesto". He is standing against Theresa May, the Home Secretary, in Maidenhead.

Meet Herbie, whose lapel badges flash “Welcome to the UKIP Manifesto”. He is standing against Theresa May, the Home Secretary, in Maidenhead.

The moment when all the black and Asian people in the room stood up, in protest at a question asked about the lack of black faces in the manifesto.

The moment when all the black and Asian people in the room stood up, in protest at a question asked about the lack of black faces in the manifesto.

My Manifesto week – Tuesday

It it’s Tuesday it must be Swindon. Yes, Swindon. Land of the round-about. Everything about this launch was scaled down. Five years ago the Tories launched their manifesto in the old Battersea Power Station, in a special glass walled urban chic event with cool canapes and burlap covered waste bins. This time around, for GE 2015, the message is much more, well, normal, not to say ordinary. And so they went to a new university technical college in, yes, Swindon, where Dave made a speech about how sunny the future is with him….

 

 

Tuesday's Tory manifesto launch in Swindon was so, well, dull that the best picture I took was one without anyone there....

Tuesday’s Tory manifesto launch in Swindon was so, well, dull that the best picture I took was one without anyone there….

See,.didn't I tell you? It looks so much messier with people....

See,.didn’t I tell you? It looks so much messier with people….

My manifesto week in pictures – Monday

If it’s Monday, it must be Manchester with Labour. But why, I wondered as I arrived, do I keep seeing Alex Salmond’s face at every major Labour event? And why are they launching their big PLAN in the old Granada studios best know for Coronation Street soap? These are questions that only the Labour party can answer…..

 

The Tories at work: if you go to a Labour manifesto launch,  know who you are sure to see....

The Tories at work: if you go to a Labour manifesto launch, know who you are sure to see….

Is this really the perfect place to launch a manifesto? With a fake pub?

Is this really the perfect place to launch a manifesto? With a fake pub?

Not any old soap: The Labour bus gets a washing down in the street that invented soap, as in opera

Not any old soap: The Labour bus gets a washing down in the street that invented soap, as in opera

Finally the MAN with a PLAN - it's a message that was just a little hard to miss.

Finally the MAN with a PLAN – it’s a message that was just a little hard to miss.

GE 2015 Dictionary update….

Here are some additions to my Vote Vocab to help us all understand the 2015 election…. I will collate them at the end of the week ….(for rest see yesterday’s post…)

 

Actual Voters – Desperate attempt by politicians and headline writers to separate between voters and everyone else (i.e. “ordinary people”, hard-working families and, of course, all time fave: “real people”.)

Backstabbing: Something you do when you take on a sibling in any endeavour. (Ignore all previous definitions.)

Ordinary people: One of the terms that politicians use (enviously) to describe all of the rest of us. (Do they not realise that we are extraordinary?)

Grand National: Animal cruelty in action which will be tackled by the Green Party as part of the great progressive future

People at home: Favourite idea of politicians that “people at home” are listening or watching, as in: “People listening at home will be shocked…” or “People at home watchiing will be appalled….” No, we aren’t: we’re making a cup of tea.

Peradventure – “Let’s be clear beyond peradventure” said Harriet Harman on the Andrew Marr show on 12.04.2015. Are we in a Jane Austen novel? Oh I do hope so. Actually surely Peradventure is the perfect name for a Jane Austen theme park.

Real people: How politicians refer to us as in: “Real people will not think it wise to use the word ‘peradventure’….

Wisdom Index: A fall-back position for pollsters where they get “ordinary people” to tell them who they think will win, as opposed to who they are going to vote for (with thanks to Professor Tim Bale of Queen Mary University….)

 

Vote Vocab – How to understand GE2015

 

When is a kitchen not a kitchen? Why are doorsteps something to be avoided? What’s pink but not magenta all over? Here is my Vote Dictionary GE2015.

 

Brain freeze: Random stun device that  infected Green leader Natalie Bennett on the radio and made it seem as if she didn’t know her own housing policy (no one really blamed her)

Coalition government:  A formal arrangement between political parties, now sadly dated and sooooo 2010. Will not happen again in our lifetime as seen as electoral death.

Cost of Living crisis: What real people call going shopping and paying the bills

Debate: Means nothing more now than a place where politicians gather on TV.

Decapitation: A strategy to behead, politically, a candidate. (Not to be confused with guillotine, that was the French). Something Lib-Dems seem particularly prone to.

Doorstep:  A location of misery for marginal constituency dwellers

Empty chair: Verb. What everyone threated to do to David Cameron as in: “They may empty-chair him”. (Candidate for ugliest verb in the world)

First past the post: Our voting system, blamed for almost everything.

Green surge: It may sound like a snot-filled horror movie or, indeed, a stain remover but instead it denotes the rush to join the Green party

Hard-working families: Confusingly this includes all voters, even the lazy and feckless ones

Long-term economic plan: The Tories’ copyrighted slogan for their economic policy

Kippers: Members of UKIP or the United Kingdom Independence Party (no longer, apparently, to be confused with “fruitcakes”).

Kitchen tables: Where politicians think we all sit when we talk politics (not to be confused with ‘kitchens’)

Kitchens: Where politicians chop vegetables and drink tea with broadcast journalists (not to be confused with “Snack preparation areas”).

La Sturgeon: Unusually nothing to do with kitchens. It’s SNP leader Nicola, not to be confused with former SNP leader Salmond. (It’s a piscatorial election in Scotland.)

Liberal-Democrats: The junior partners in the coalition government (RIP 2010-2015) who are paying the price by losing shedloads of votes. They may soon be “niche” and not in a good way.

Majority government: A party or parties with a working (as opposed to feckless) majority (i.e. 326 MPs).

Marginal: A constituency with fickle voters who keep changing their minds, mostly located in  the Midlands, London and the South-West OR anywhere in Scotland

Minority government: Chaos

Pink: The colour of the Labour’s Woman To Woman bus that is going round the country  (not to be confused with “magenta”). Was accused of looking  like an advert for thrush products

Psephologists –  political science by numbers or, more commonly, pollsters.

Snack preparation area: A small kitchen, usually on the ground floor, specifically in Ed Miliband’s ground floor, where you never actually eat anything.

Swing – nothing to do with sex, sadly, but the percentage of votes switching from one party to another in a poll

Verbification – The strange practice of turning perfectly good nouns into verbs. (See “empty-chair”)

Women –  XX chromosome carriers who often make up their minds later than men and become a source of consternation to pollsters

 

Do you have another word candidate to be included in my Vote Dictionary 2015? If so, please email me or tweet me at @anntreneman

 

For more advice on how to survive the General Election, see my piece in The Times at: http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/news/politics/article4402991.ece